The past few weeks have been spent mostly relaxing and preparing for what they ("they" being people older than myself) like to call "the next phase." This next phase, as some of you know, involves me moving to Strasbourg in about 19 days to complete eight months of cultural observation and research that may or may not result in something that one might be interested in reading. The preparations for my future endeavor have included navigating the world of the French apartment rental system, prepping for graduate school applications, visa appointments, and most importantly, many, many coffee dates with friends whom I will miss immensely in the upcoming months.
As requested by my fellow Francophile and soon-to-be ex-pat, Charlotte R. Greenbaum, here is a photo from her visit out to San Francisco over Labor Day weekend - proof that friendship doesn't fade after college graduation :)
In addition to physical preparations and getting the tangibles together as much as possible, I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for what lies ahead. Normally, I would say that I'm one who holds her shit together and approaches problems from a rather logical approach. Regardless of whether I'm giving myself too much credit there, the past few weeks have had been laced with much more frequently than normal occurrences of freaking out and irrationality. Last night, for example, I was about as unhappy as I've been in a long, long time. Blame the PMS (sorry, too much information?), the fact that I still don't have a place to live secured, the proximity of my deadlines for graduate school approaching, or the constant insecurities about adjusting to life in a new place (again), let's just say there are a lot of things floating around that have yet to be tied down.
This is an auspicious and sacred period in the Jewish calendar, between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, when we are begged to reflect on the people we were in the past year and who we will become in the next. I've been engaging in various rituals - some traditional and some self-created - to think about how to mitigate the anxiety and truly prepare myself for leaving my comfort zone of the Bay Area and Stanford and this morning, I journaled, took a dance class, got amazing pep-talks from some very special people and feel infinitely better. Writing this morning, I came across my journal entry from exactly two years ago when I was on board the plane from San Francisco to Berlin, and I wrote to myself, "Doria. You're on this plane not because you're sure that this is where you're supposed to be and when, but because you know that you would regret not being here. The space between San Francisco and Berlin is, in reality, indescribably small because everything that you hold dear there is simultaneously here with you. What is truly remarkable is that you can and will be able to share your treasures with others and accumulate more riches than you can ever imagine."
So, my friends, here is to the space between two places, worlds, mentalities, or peoples. My next entry will be from my adoptive home in France and I look forward to sharing with you my transitions, stories, foibles and triumphs and I sincerely hope you'll continue to share yours with me via email - I've so loved your responses to my other posts and I consider you all to be such blessings in my life.
Shana tova. With love,
Doria
